UnRest.Discontent. Ranting?

This summer has taken a toll on me. And it has changed me big time.
what i mean by this, is that i have such a huge feeling of discontent. Discontent with being in Arvada really. Life has gotten boring. I've spent most of this summer not at home. I've been out adventuring, being in the mountains, being with God. Going to Alaska, seeing God in so many new places. Whenever I come home, i feel bored. Arvada is all i've known for nearly 18 years now. I feel such a huge pull to get out. To adventure. To seek out what God has in store for me, rather than just sit and wait for it. I want to see new cultures, meet new people, see and hear what God has created in different places.

I am constantly hearing stories of people getting out of their comfort zone, out of their hometown, and connecting with God on insane levels. The more i hear stories like these i get an intense fear that my life will never be that. That i will fail and end up living an unexciting, mundane life. I want to get out. I need to get out. I am continually feeling God pull me away from what i've always known.

I hate that i have all these feelings right now, because there is absolutely nothing i can do about it. I still have a full year until i can get out of this discontent. I am looking forward to this year, because i know that God is going to do amazing things, but i can't shake this anxious feeling. this deep wanting of adventure. To experience the unknown.
By now i feel like i'm ranting, but no one actually reads this right? so i'll keep ranting. God confuses me sometimes. I can go from feeling so close to him, to so far from him, in a matter of hours. I am deeply in love with him, but whenever i am at "home" in arvada, He feels so distant to me. I used to think that the mountains were my only home, but after traveling to Alaska, i now realize that I feel most at home whenever i'm not at home. when i'm out and about, traveling, snowboarding, talking with random people in random places.
Short Story- I went to waterworld last week, and after i went down one of the massive white slides, two kids were chilling by the end. As i got out of the slide, they were smiling, and yelled "THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!" I was a little confused, but i said thanks, and gave them both huge high-fives. their faces lit up at the high five. I don't know why this made my heart light up, but it did. I love kids, and kids like this make me smile. I love the fact that kids can think a simple water slide is so awesome. Kids make me laugh.

Also, i feel like God's timing is all wrong in my life lately. In my heart, i know that it's not, but i just feel like things are wrong. I don't really know how to elaborate on this one.

Well, here's the end of my ranting. If you actually read all of that, i'm sorry, but you probably just wasted all that time to read my thoughts.

Wonderwall

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my Wonderwall

Story of my life. I'm not good with words, and i'm even worse with timing. Past experiences have proven that time and time again. Maybe sometime soon i'll be able to overcome it. Sometime SOON i hope.......

LIFE

 Sometimes i wonder why life's so amazing. 

Then i remember: Because i Love and Worship the one and only TRUE God!!!!

Simpler Things

A recent trip out to Haviland, Kansas showed me that life is just simpler out in the country. Things are slower, and the people are nicer. I love that. I also love photographing the country, there is so much more history out there, which i love.

Powderburn 2010 thoughts.

So,

my third powderburn came and went. 

It was amazing. God speaks every year, i love it.

The main theme of the weekend was being a pilgrim. By that i mean, not just going on retreats, going to church on Sundays and calling yourself a "christian"

Being a pilgrim means devoting every second of every day to the being that created the universe. 

Some point's God has nailed into me this weekend:

1) I am WAY too lazy, in my faith and in the rest of my life.
2) I am called to be in ministry. I'm not sure what that looks like, but whatever it is, it's going to be awesome.
3) I am afraid of the change that God wants to see in my life.
4) I am afraid of what God wants to do in my life.
5) After trying me best to follow Christ for the past 10 years, I am now ready to dive 100% into my faith.


Looking back at this years powderburn, it was mostly about change. Changing myself.

Pre-Burn

I'm leaving for PowderBurn 2010 in a few hours.

I am extremely excited, as this is the yearly snowboard retreat that is always amazing.

PowderBurn is always the trip that God knocks me down hard, and then lifts me up. Always. Every year since i was in 8th grade. I say again, i am Extremely stoked for this. Mountains, Snowboarding, Friends, God.

What more could you ask for?

I shall be back Sunday night, and i'll report on it then :)

Stuck

I Am Lonely; I'm Tired, I'm Lost, I'm Confused, I'm Hurting, I'm Angry, I'm Bitter; I Am Lonely