There's just something about silence that seems to make my heart and mind settle.
Once my heart and mind begin to settle, I can actually think over my life.
It seems like my life is moving too fast for my little brain to make sense of it.
i rush through school these days, just to get out of that building. I don't seem to enjoy life when i'm in school. Most of the time i'm being forced to learn something that will probably not affect my life.
When i'm not in school, i'm usually at church, and that is when i truly enjoy life. My home life right now just seems like the limbo in between these two.
Sitting outside my house, looking up at the stars, thinking about life.
I don't have a very good community group nowadays. I don't hang out with much of the same friends anymore, and i feel like i'm quickly growing apart from everything in my life. I can't wait to move out and away. My heart right now just wants to be in Fort Collins. I have seen, heard of, and experienced the community there, and i long for it. I know that i need to find the same community here, but i feel like i've been stuck in arvada for so long, that i can't get out of where i am right now unless something drastic happens.
My future is in His hands.
I know that.
Right now i feel like i am living in Limbo. Finishing high school just so that i can begin the rest of my life. That's a pretty sucky feeling if you ask me.
Yet, i will praise God for all that he has blessed me with, even when I am feeling unsettled, uneasy, whatever you may call it.
"Teach me to do Your will for You are my God; may Your good spirit lead me on level ground"