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I am a Christ-follower first and foremost. My life is a testament to his Love and Grace. 
I am a Musician, it is my lifeline to God in an empathetic world. It is the passion that drives my soul.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bitterness and Change.

I have been really bad at blogging lately, because of a lot of things have been happening lately. So here's my thoughts.

I went to FacePlant, a great weekend for middle schoolers. We all go up to the mountains and spend a weekend worshipping and learning about God. It was so amazing. I will admit that it was a lot different than years past, which is hard for me, but it was amazing nonetheless.
Also, 4C's has been renovating their building, as they are moving into nearly half of the property they have now. This is the hardest thing i have had to deal with. I have grown up in this church, and it has been the only constant in my life. Now everything is changing, and it is hard for me. I believe that God is going to work through this situation, but it's still hard for me to see my Home completely changed.

I know for a fact that i have many blog posts about change, and this will be yet another one. IF you haven't watched the video at the top of this page, i strongly urge you to do so. This song has been on my mind and heart for a while now, and today it hit me really hard. Read over these lyrics, they are changing my life

Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails

You make all things work together for my good

I have never been good with change, it scares me. But i know that God will never change. Out environment will change, but our Faithful God will always be the same. I can now see that God is preparing me for the major change that is going to happen in my life in the next 6 months. This weekend was a hard one. I was bitter about change, i was bitter with a lot of things. Please, take my advice, Do not let change make you bitter. I'm not saying that all change is beneficial, but make the best of your situation. Our God is never going to forsake us, He loves us. He has unending Grace! So when you do get bitter, think of the things in your life that make you smile. Friends, Family, Loved Ones. My life is so so full of these things. 

My last thought is also the last line of this song.

"You make all things work together for my good"

Our God truly loves us, and He has a plan. He knows what is going to happen. We don't. I spent the last month trying to fight change, trying to make my own path in life. Planning ahead for the future. None of this is me. I know that God has a plan for my life, and i know that He is going to make everything work for my good. I do not like the change that is going on in my life right now, but i now know that God is going to make it work for my good.

I have let my bitterness outshadow the good things in my life. I have so much to live for. So much in my life that i cannot live without. So much that God has blessed me with, and yet i have listened to so many lies that i have told myself. But that's the thing. They are only lies. Lies will only last for a season, but Truth and Love will last forever because they come from God

"The wind is strong and the water's deep

But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails"

life sucks. Life's hard. Change is hard. But our God is stronger than anything the world will throw at us. Do not give up, Don't give into bitterness, Life a life with God. Live a life full of Love. Don't take things for granted. God places things and people in your life that will help you get though the strong wind. God's Love never fails. Stronger than the wind and more vast than the open seas.

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Great Waiting

I have never been good at waiting, but the last three years have been totally centered around waiting. Wait wait wait. First it was waiting for a new youth pastor to come along, and now it's waiting to get out of arvada. i dont like waiting. While i'm waiting, all i can think about is how much better life could be if i was just somewhere else. All my life i've been told that that statement is deadly, and not true, but i disagree. My life could be much better if i were somewhere else. I'm not saying my life is bad, i have a great life, but it could still be better. Look 6 months in the future: I could actually have friends again. that would be great. I could have a church that cares about me. That would be fantastic.

I can't wait to start my life. To get away from home, experience life. Get out of this dull, stagnant life that i seem to be living lately.

I guess there's nothing i can do now, except more waiting. Keep waiting for things to get better. For life to get exciting again.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Worship, and comfort. ramble ramble ramble

Recently, i have figured out that Musical Worship cannot be attained without comfort. Thus the need for Youth Groups, and thus the growth of the Youth Christian Culture. I went to church with mommy and daddy for a long time. I sat with them in church and "worshipped" But it wasn't real. because i wasn't comfortable. It wasn't until i found out that others like me were worshipping that it became real. A different room, a different feel. I cannot fully be myself around adults. they dont get me. Therefore, i cannot fully Voice my Worship through song while there are adults leading the service. When a band of 40-50 year olds, plays worship music, it usually turns out good, don't get me wrong. And i also love to play music with older people, but i cannot fully be myself around them. I cannot fully sing to my God when there are adults leading. I need comfort. I need the comfort of others like me, around me, in front of me, Worshiping.

Contemporary Worship Services will never work in my opinion. An 80 year old grandpa simply does not connect with God in the same way that a 16 year old boy does. They both can, but in different ways. and different things scare people.
For example: If i were to Worship the way i do at a college church, in a morning service at some other church, most people would be offended. I need Loud, Intense, Emotional worship. While others need calm, soothing, worship. Neither one is right, or wrong, just different.

Let's just say, I like my worship with lots of guitar, while other churches refuse the Mic the guitar, because that would make it too loud. Neither one is right or wrong, just different. Meaning that Both cannot survive in the same element.