Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Lately my emotions have been ruining me, i don't know whats going on.

I wake up feeling amazing, ready to start the day, ready to get out and take the world head on. Then the afternoon hits me, i feel exhausted, worn out from doing nothing but sleeping in class.
The evenings are usually busy doing things with church, so i feel more rejuvenated while i am there, but then i come home, and find myself longing for something more, longing for some, for someone to hold me in their arms. I lay in bed thinkin, my mind running at a million miles a minute, hoping against hope that something will change, something big will happen in my life, someone will show up in my life to fix this longing that i have.

I'm sick of this roller-coaster of emotions. My emotions have never gotten the better of me, usually its my lack of emotion that kills me, but this month, something happened, i don't know what, but something changed, and i don't like it. My life used to be full of Apathy, all i ever used to care about was loving God, but lately, something has changed, something has given me feelings, made me feel. feel like i am not good enough, made me feel like i need someone. someone special that i can give my love to, someone tangible that can hold me. Don't get me wrong, i still love God, and i strive to please him, and at the same time let him work through my life, but at the same time, i feel as if that is not enough.

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