Oh life, you confuse me.

Silly life problems are just that. Silly.

By that, i mean, don't worry about the silly things in life!
Right now, this means that i need to stop worrying about what next year will look like.

The only thing I know right now is that i want to spend the rest of my life working with kids, and praising God. I have absolutely no clue what that looks like, how i will do that, where i will go to do that, BUT i do know: God's got it under control. He's got a plan, and there's no point in me worrying about it.

Why worry about next year, when i can rejoice in the day that the Lord has given me. 

The song "Devotion" by Hillsong United has been repeating over and over in my head. The chorus is

"When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak, the fiercest of oceans is still

And i've seen, sinners seek devotion

Lost become Chosen

And I fall to my knees"

God has calmed greater storms, so there is absolutely no point in me worrying about what i will do with my life. 

Late Nights

Oh how i love these late nights. Listening to soft music while editing Photos. I love these things.

Currently on my playlist is Shane & Shane. Great soft, acoustic worship.

Also, here's what i've been working on tonight. Enjoy!

-BK

Sounds

Tonight at band practice, i realized something. After playing guitar for so long, things sound different.
Here's the story. I got to church, got all my stuff setup, and i couldn't get a sound dialed in that actually pleased me. Everything was just sounds crappy to me. This has been a common issue for me and my current guitar setup, seeing as i'm running all amp models. So basically, i am playing guitar through a pedal that makes a "fake" sound, and then it goes into an amp that creates yet another "fake" sound. All of this makes me notice how crappy my guitar sounds. Anyway........ i'm super frustrated, but everyone else that was listening to the practice, said that it sounded good. Which makes me realize that i am super critical of the way my guitar playing sounds. Which means that i am now on an adventure to buy a new amp. Funziez....... more money that i need to find and spend.....

UnRest.Discontent. Ranting?

This summer has taken a toll on me. And it has changed me big time.
what i mean by this, is that i have such a huge feeling of discontent. Discontent with being in Arvada really. Life has gotten boring. I've spent most of this summer not at home. I've been out adventuring, being in the mountains, being with God. Going to Alaska, seeing God in so many new places. Whenever I come home, i feel bored. Arvada is all i've known for nearly 18 years now. I feel such a huge pull to get out. To adventure. To seek out what God has in store for me, rather than just sit and wait for it. I want to see new cultures, meet new people, see and hear what God has created in different places.

I am constantly hearing stories of people getting out of their comfort zone, out of their hometown, and connecting with God on insane levels. The more i hear stories like these i get an intense fear that my life will never be that. That i will fail and end up living an unexciting, mundane life. I want to get out. I need to get out. I am continually feeling God pull me away from what i've always known.

I hate that i have all these feelings right now, because there is absolutely nothing i can do about it. I still have a full year until i can get out of this discontent. I am looking forward to this year, because i know that God is going to do amazing things, but i can't shake this anxious feeling. this deep wanting of adventure. To experience the unknown.
By now i feel like i'm ranting, but no one actually reads this right? so i'll keep ranting. God confuses me sometimes. I can go from feeling so close to him, to so far from him, in a matter of hours. I am deeply in love with him, but whenever i am at "home" in arvada, He feels so distant to me. I used to think that the mountains were my only home, but after traveling to Alaska, i now realize that I feel most at home whenever i'm not at home. when i'm out and about, traveling, snowboarding, talking with random people in random places.
Short Story- I went to waterworld last week, and after i went down one of the massive white slides, two kids were chilling by the end. As i got out of the slide, they were smiling, and yelled "THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!" I was a little confused, but i said thanks, and gave them both huge high-fives. their faces lit up at the high five. I don't know why this made my heart light up, but it did. I love kids, and kids like this make me smile. I love the fact that kids can think a simple water slide is so awesome. Kids make me laugh.

Also, i feel like God's timing is all wrong in my life lately. In my heart, i know that it's not, but i just feel like things are wrong. I don't really know how to elaborate on this one.

Well, here's the end of my ranting. If you actually read all of that, i'm sorry, but you probably just wasted all that time to read my thoughts.